TAMF,

I think many of us here go through the same thing you are about

going right back to thinking about them all of the time.

You were married for years and care about the people you love.

I don't think you can just shut that down cold turkey.

I also hear ya on the I was happy and satisfied before all of

this. This stuff takes time. Your bomb drop was in July. Mine

was in February. If this takes 3 to 5 years or whatever, we are

just beginning this journey and I feel bad having to tell you

that. It has taken me 8 months to realize how long this takes

and I still stumble on some days.

But here is the thing,

It would be horrible to live with them day to day in a marriage

right now agreed?

If they don't come out of this, we are hurting ourselves because

we allow it as you have stated.

That is why detachment is important. It is something that you

have to face everyday until it becomes part of you.

Is it easy? F@*k no!!

It does become part of you though. The up down high and low

starts to become less after a while.

The sooner you do things to GAL and actually do some new things

that you may not have had the chance to do before, you can

accelerate the detachment and get out of the high low stuff.

It is great to come and vent here though and there are awesome

people here to hear it. I think you should vent here because If

you don't, you may end up venting on someone near you that you

will regret.

This is a life transition for the MLC'r. We now have got

drafted for a transition of our own. We can either dig in and

learn and grow or we can fall into an abyss that none of us would

ever want. From what I have read through your posts, YOU

certainly have it in YOU to be the strong woman I can already

see is in YOU.

That is where your choice is NOW!! YOU will get this!! I know YOU

will!!

WS