I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Everything yesterday was kind of conceptual stuff. Today, I have a couple of emails to respond to. They came late last night. How/or do I respond to these:

First on insurance/daycare:

STBXW dropped me from her insurance effective 12-31-10. I thought the divorce had to be final. Apparently not. I'm in my enrollment period so it's not that big of a deal, except it'll cut my paycheck $60 per check.

We'd negotiated a lower child support payment, dropping it $22 per pay period. Should I tell her that, if the divorce isn't done by 12-31-10, once I have to pay my own insurance I'm going to start paying the lower mediated rate -- or just let it go and see what happens with the D and if it isn't done just pay less?

Second, she's going to approach our after school sitter about claiming the $75 she pays a week for daycare on her taxes. She hasn't been. STBXW says she cannot afford to pay the money and not be able to claim it on taxes.

I think this is kind of a ruse. I just think she's struggling paying the $75.

This after school sitter has been by far the best. We went through three before her. She comes early and stays late according to our needs. My initial thought is to respond that if she does that and we lose her, what does she think the options are? Go through the process to try to hire another? Just put them in YMCA after school care? If YMCA care is the option, then the savings is about $22 a week because it's not free and they HAVE to be picked up by 5:30 p.m. and there's an extra cost if you miss the time.

Second, if we go the YMCA route then I DON'T see them every day like I do now and in mediation she agreed that if that happened I'd get them an extra night.

Last point on that is that I'd agreed in mediation to split daycare costs once the D is done. Should I remind her of that -- perhaps a subtle reminder to get this over with?

So do I lay all of that out in a response?

Second email was just one forwarded from D8's Daisy troupe.

D8 should be in an older troupe, but she gravitates towards younger kids. She has a friend in this troupe and has had a good time, I thought. But she came home two weeks ago saying she quit because they were being mean to her.

The email was from the troupe leader who laid out what was going on that night. When she found D8 crying in the bathroom she asked her what was wrong and D8 said she was crying over the divorce. That was No. 1. Then she said she was being picked on.

Why would STBXW send me that? She is divorcing me. There's really no response I can send that wouldn't take the bait. Is there?

Final notes from last night. D11 asked me if I can help her raise funds for her Washington trip. I thought she meant D.C. No. She means a trip to Seattle to visit STBXW's older sister.

D11's aunt has told her on the phone she wants her to visit her out there. So D11 is all excited. But STBXW this week admitted to her she can't buy the ticket and STBXW's mom can't help because she's still supporting STBXW's younger sister -- the 36-year-old who hasn't had a job in six years and now is back in college.

I told D11 I can't pay for the ticket because I'm saving up for a trip for all three of us to go to California. I told her that if her aunt wants her to visit then she'll probably have to help.

She can. The aunt is the only one with money. She married a great guy who retired from the air force and is a mechanic at Boeing. He makes six figures. They could buy the ticket with tip money.

I told D11 really the only way she can raise money for the trip is to earn it. She wants to start babysitting. I paid for a babysitting training class next week. I can send out emails to coworkers next week to drum up business for her.

D11 said she really wants to go on the trip because there's so many places she wants to explore.

It's tough. Two years ago, after getting back from Disney World, D11 and I laid out plans on all of the great places we wanted to go on family vacations -- New Orleans, California, New York.

It was a fun list and she left it on her bedroom desk to look at -- and now I had to tell her it's likely I'll just be able to take her to California and New York before she graduates high school.