Most of all I feel emotionally safe, because you have been through almost the identical situation (long term marriage, younger guy, online, health issues) and understand... As does FMV. The guys here also let me see the flip side, and the possibility of forgiveness, working things out, and how you've really got to knock the H over the head! I guess I picked your forum to post specifically because if your background and decision to work out your M.
I wouldn't have gone searching for a site like this if I weren't desperate, but the intensity of it right now does not give me the energy to explain it all over again. I'm also not sure how I'd feel if H discovered EA at this time... So have mostly been posting from my phone, not home PC.
Went on Facebook and did a little detective work... Found OM's profile, and it frankly stunned me how much younger he was, how young his friends are, and his interests (which are pretty cool and include Chess!). Felt very sneaky doing this, but it also made me want to say to him "Sorry! I feel like I'm robbing the cradle!" -- which, of course isn't the reason I should want to break it off, but did pop that fantasy just a little bit more!!!
Nonetheless, I still crave that connection. I think that's why I sent him my pics, so he'd say "Nooooooooo.... Old lady!", which of course he wouldn't because he's too nice but UGhhhh... Just wish he were ugly, gross, or obnoxious in his FB profile. He's not, just very very very YOUNG!!! The women he is friends with are also very attractive and young, which further shines a light on the age difference.
I know, I know, I know ... Shouldn't even go there with these thoughts, but I do:(
Help me ladies... Books, resources, whatever I can immerse myself in to kick this... Because if he weren't so young, I'd be in trouble!!!
Trying to get through the tough evening hours without contact... Dud the walk today, and am beat!!! (He's a work out buff too... ??? How did I put my self-esteem into this... I feel very old, very foolish, very ashamed!!)
my daughter just finished Ethan Fromme by Edith Wharton... Fidelity issues!
