She will be stepping down if she does that, big time, to a man who has been unfaithful to his W many times and even had a fling going on the side while M and in an EA with my W.
The pitiful thing is that she knows this about him and yet she still wants that connection.
I would suggest that maybe you back away from any talks about OM or the MR for now. Wait on her and see if she talks without any encouragment to do so. She keeps saying she has to deal with it, so maybe it's time for her to do that. You have a few days before she leaves on her trip, so maybe detach some right now and then see if she tries to keep contact going with you while she's away.
The reason I suggest pulling back is b/c of how she acted when you really were at that point of dropping the rope...and she knew you were. It scared her when she saw what she could lose. Looks like she may need a little reminder.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
