I am not expert (clearly, lol!) but IMO that is not setting boundaries but more like delivering ultimatums.

These fools will act like they have NO CLUE why you are so upset at them because they are acting, like, well, fools!

I would try and avoid the "do this or I will do that" stance because that is a conflict and power struggle in the making.

It would not hurt to get advice from an attny and see what avenues could help.