I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

OK. Been thinking of how to respond to Drew.

STBXW can't win with me right now and may not ever be able to. Two years ago, if she'd talked to the principal and didn't tell me, I wouldn't have cared. We were a team.

Now. There's no trust. I see hidden motives in whatever little interaction we have.

Another example on how she can't win. Three weeks ago when I picked up the wedding rings, she didn't object at all. She had them sitting out for me. She could have fought me over them, but she didn't. Several told me how great that was, but what I thought about was how little she cared that the wedding rings weren't worth fighting over. And the bitterness came back.

So agreeing with her ... feels like I'm condoning what she's done. I can't do it ... not right now and maybe never. I may just figure out coping mechanisms to get through issues.

I'm great at giving advice and not so great in taking it. Aren't we all, though. What's the old saying "do as I say, not as I do."

Truthfully, right now, I don't want to co-parent. I want to single parent. I want to have autonomy on my time and she can have autonomy on hers. I'll get hammered for saying that, but it's how I feel.

Truthfully, I wish I could just wish her away -- never have to talk to her. I'll go four or five days without hearing from her and then I'll have to take her call and the old feelings resurface. I hate having to talk to her at all. I'll get hammered for saying that, but it's how I feel.

Have to get back to work. This post was all over the place. As you can see, I'm conflicted. I know I have to get better, but I'm not sure how better looks and feels.