The hardest thing I've ever done.

[Royloveshiswife]

1)My wife and I have made our children THE priority thru this. They still have emotional problems with it. But they are my little troopers. The wife and I continuously focus on making sure their lives stay as "normal" as possible.
2)I can never have enough time with them. But I get every other weekend and if I have an unexpected day off, she will usually invite me over to see them. With my shift at work (5PM-3AM), it is really a challenge to get to see them. Technically, this weekend is my wifes weekend, but we're working on a plan for us both to get some 0ne-on-one time with them.
3)As far as controlling my emotions.......Thats a hard one. For me, I had to truly decide that winning the marriage was more important than expressing myself. She already knows how I feel. It helped to realize that to say the loving or bitter things I wanted to (and still want to) say made sad or angry. Or worse yet, indifferent.
4)Financially, as much as "people" tell me i should do otherwise, I am doing the lions share of the money-raising and I made the decision that my family ending up homeless or hungry wouldn't help my marriage either. I'll always take care of my family. And if I think they need more of my money than some judge who doesn't know them, then I'll see they get it.
5) As far as what you do now, I recommend you take some time to yourself,meditate, pray, and even think deeply about what you truly want and want to do. Then, you need to research to decide how to bring about what you want. Make sure you give small goals that are reachable and recognizable. The best advice I can give is: Try to make yourself be yourself. Do things that bring enjoyment to you. If you're angry or sad, would you want you back? Keep up your hopes. "Hope for the best, plan for the worst." If somehow a divorce should happen and you decide to move on, you have to be happy with you and your efforts. I have decided that even if the divorce does go thru, I'm still not giving up. May seem naive, but with Gods help I'm keeping my vow to Him. But that's my decision and I won't pretend to tell you what to do. Hope this helps.