Just an update. OW refuses to see him since July, but he couldn't emotionally let go all the way. We roller-coastered awhile, with him commiting then telling me he was too guilty to be with me while he still thought about her, then he had a 4 hr phone call to her. I set the boundary of do not contact me unless you are serious about a reconciliation. So he tried to make more contact with her & she dumped him big time when she found out he wasn't D'ing me and still going back and forth with his emotions. Finally she is tired of being OW ( Gee it only took her 18mo). Told him never to contact her in any way, and seems to really mean it this time....was very ugly apparently.
Does the depression ever end? He is only getting worse with self loathing and regrets. Says things like "everybody would be better off with me dead", "I would have been better off if I had never started all this" (YAH THINK!)and "I am a failure at everything". Very worrisome from a highly arrogant, previously confidant kind of guy. Of course the OW depression is big as well. He's asked me to go to our beach house for Thanksgiving, says like the book by Harley, Surviving an Affair, that I got him to read that we need to start spending lots of time together to regenerate those feelings. Says he failed with her because he still loved me the whole time and couldn't ever commit to her. My counselor says it's probably time to try to work on the relationship since he finally seems genuinely ready. He has started seeing the daughters and his family again. Please tell me we are nearing the end of all this!
