We are headed into a long weekend. My husband will come home tomorrow morning (Thursday). For those of you following along, we only see each other on weekends. He lives at school during the week and we speak usualy once per day.
So for 2 weeks I've been GAL. I feel better about myself and wish I would have known to do this years ago.
Here's my question. Since my husband has blatantly looked me in the ey and told me he wasn't sure if he loved me the right way to be married, I have become very uncomfortable around him. I have an amazing, loving family and tons of great friends. I have always felt unconditional love. I feel physically ill around my husband. Not because I don't love him, but because he may not love me. I try to follow the guidelines and stay positive, but it makes my soul hurt to be something on the outside that I am not on the inside. He can pick up on my most subtle "fake" smile. I feel so insecure around him and feel like I am constantly being judged as to whether or not I am good enough.
I know why I need to do this, but I don't know if I can. Any words of advice would be appreciated.
Oh, and to those that left, I don't know you, but I wish you would come back. We need you!
