What's da haps, man?

[ImprovedRomeo]

(((Sol)))

You've been doing a great job detaching but court on Mon probably brought things back in front of you. It's quite normal though how you manage it is key. BTW, have you gotten those ADs yet?

They've all said and done mean horrible things to us and yes the details and visions in our heads are tough to deal with. That's why I always tell everyone to know as little about them as possible. I didn't think the physical part affected women as much as it affects men but clearly you and another friend has mentioned the same thing so clearly it's difficult for women too.

I think most of us were idealizing them for a long time. Here's an article that I think might help you:

"Two halves do not necessarily make a whole. Nor can someone else always provide what we internally lack. When the imperfect partner inevitably falls short of fulfilling the masculine or feminine role--and cannot relate intimately due to their own disequilibrium--anger, resentment and hostility simmer. Eventually, in every romantic relationship, disappointment or disillusionment set in. The person chosen no longer can carry the idealized projection of man or woman we initially attributed to them. They are no longer a blank screen or tabula rasa upon which to project, but rather a real person with flaws, idiosyncrasies and human limitations.

Frequently, this is when the relationship enters a period of painful, tempestuous crisis, with one or both partners feeling they have fallen out of love, and therefore, should move on. This misinterpretation is the ruin of many marriages."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil...-other-part-two

Hang in there and try to focus on getting through the week, take one thing at a time...I know you can do it!