I know you are in a MUCH better place but detachment... ...the kind that REALLY lets her go is still yet to come. You know how I know? Because you are still focused on what she is doing with Goober.
Thanks, TG. I see that. I still view it as a positive that I no longer picture "what she is LITERALLY DOING" with Goober anymore and now only see it as a "continued A/R"
And it's much more an "indicator" (tool) than a "weapon I used to beat myself up".
Originally Posted By: Gritter
Look at Goober as a tool. <<<<That is a double entendre (sp?)
Thanks again. I needed a laugh. It's actually a triple as he is also an auto mechanic. The jokes pretty much write themselves. If you have an interest in shooting Pepsi or wine out your nose, I'll show you pictures of him/them on the alt.
Originally Posted By: Gritter
She thinks she needs him to fix what is wrong inside. She blames you for not doing it for her or inhibiting that what she believes. While.... she believes this she is of no use to the new CD. You could no more have a HEALHTY relationship with her than say ... A large wooden badger. Actually the wooden badger is better than her right now
Wow, Gritter! A laser beam AND a comedy bit!! To be honest, I agree wholeheartedly and have actually been hearing that from my inner voice a lot. It goes back to the old thread where I suggested that I may actually want the A to continue because I am not ready. The A also tells me that SHE is not ready either. And the Monty Python reference? Priceless. You sure we aren't related? Just a "Touch"? I am an honorary Italian according to my classmates at the "All-Italian HS" I went to.
Originally Posted By: Gritter
Don't ask (about this being a permamnent address). Tell her you will forward her mail there. Not your business. Hers. Ask her what she wants you to do with the rest of the stuff. Subtle difference but a good one. She will see questions as prying.
Thanks for the tip. I was actually going to just begin forwarding it without the notice. I really would like all her stuff out of the garage. I need the space and the lack of reminders. I'll look into one of those storage pods. If it's not too expensive......Then if she wants it, I can have the pod delivered.
Thanks for the support. I know I'm "getting there" but it's just somewhat discouraging when: - I find myself struggling over these little incidents (considering I know the answer but find the internalization sporadic) -I'm not as far along as I sometimes feel that I am -I feel impatient with myself for NOT being "there" -I get impatient with the sitch in general (Resolution please!!)
I see all of this as evidence that: -nothing is really "working" -Divorce is the most likely outcome -why am continuing to delay the inevitable if it is doing nothing more than frustrate me and make my own work and life more difficult?
I am grateful that I have this event/situation /opportunity to work on me. I needed this for my future. Really.
But (and I use this word on purpose, TG)I am finding the lack of closure/resolution is holding me back? Is this correct?
Or just another frustrating "cycle"?
I am wanting to run through this (more impatience) but she is an anchor.
A-HA MOMENT!!! ( I will intentionally NOT edit from here on)
I used ME and RUNNING in the same sentence Impatience popped up AGAIN She is an anchor only if I'm attached to the "rope" There is something BIG in ^^^^^^^^
I am REALLY looking forward to figuring ^^^^^out and what it should be telling me.
