I loved him w/ every fiber of my being. I am afraid I will never love anyone like that again and I wonder if I ever will. It's like a huge scar on my heart.
Replace "him" with "her" and I could have written that. Actually, I have said this almost word for word to friends and family.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
So glad to hear it Sol! Good job and I hope you made sure you looked super hot when you walked into the court room .
Well actually, I did look quite nice, if I must say so. LOL.
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
Just be careful...it hurts to get hurt again lol but then you can't be little miss apprehensive forever either (Kelly Clarkson's Miss Indendendant).
Translation? And I do love K. Clarkson a lot! Romeo, you should be a DJ. I do like HG and I do feel conflicted. It's weird. I know I have a lot going on in my head.
The only thing I thought was weird was my L withdrew my motion for temp. spou. support (til D is final) since he said it was likely I wouldn't get anything. He doesn't believe I'd get a settlement on house either. Gah. I want this to be over!
This whole thing sucks.
What do you guys think of me not speaking/looking at H yesterday? Good? Bad?
Originally Posted By: v1olin
Originally Posted By: soleil
I loved him w/ every fiber of my being. I am afraid I will never love anyone like that again and I wonder if I ever will. It's like a huge scar on my heart.
Replace "him" with "her" and I could have written that. Actually, I have said this almost word for word to friends and family.
Yeah, it's a b-tch, isn't it?
I am not sure I ever *want* to love someone that much again. The emotional heart damage of getting burned isn't worth it, IMO. Though it's not like you can measure your feelings and only dole out a certain amount. Annoying.
Don't "They" say it's better to be practical vs. passionate about love? What are your opinions on that?
I think you did just fine. He doesn't deserve your attention and because you're strong, detached and moving on in life he doesn't even register on your radar screen. If he makes a conversation your response is always short and cordial. He's not worth anymore than this.
The translation is exactly like the lyrics. You can't be jaded for life. Sooner or later most of us will fall in love again and we won't even know it or control it. Right now the wounds are too fresh so we freak out when anyone gets close to us and that's actually ok because as I said getting hurt twice sucks especially when you haven't fully healed from the first heartbreak. Say you had you met HG 3 years after your D I bet you wouldn't be having these conflicted feelings. I'm not saying you should stop etc just go slooow...holy cow that sounded like wii but since he seems to be on vacation someone's got to rain on your parade
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I bet you wouldn't be having these conflicted feelings. I'm not saying you should stop etc just go slooow...holy cow that sounded like wii but since he seems to be on vacation someone's got to rain on your parade
I know you are right...and logically everything you've said makes sense.
No worries about the rain. I want reality checks and objective opinions. That is why I love all you DB posters so much!
Wii is probably enjoying vacation and using the last of those fun meds the doctor gave him. Groovy!
I told my XW in not this exact wording but close, "drop off the face of the earth and leave me alone." Funny thing is you would think that would make someone go away but she has contacted me 3 time by text since sunday. I finally answered her today and she responded in like 30 seconds. Then she asked if I had a minute to talk, "not right now." I said. So, no. I don't think it was bad for you to ignore him.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
My biggest challenge is blowing off my ex. Like you Sol, I love/d (?) him with every fiber of me. I sometimes wonder if I loved him too much, you know they say you cannot love someone too much but it does seem that I have a hard time with detachment there...
Part of it is, I think they know full well just how much we love(d) them, and they use that to their full advantage in the manipulation game...
I hope things get settled away in court ASAP so you can keep going.
Glad you are having fun with HG. It only has to be as serious as YOU want it to be...so relax, take your time, and enjoy.
Oh and Romeo--the whole "If it hurts when you do that--don't do that" plays a big part in the Getting Past Your Breakup book. It is a good universal test for a lot of things, esp whether to interact with the ex. If you feel worse after doing so, then don't do it! (I need to remember that)
Last night, driving home from work I start crying in the car. And crying before I go to bed thinking of how I hate that I'm getting a D. I hate D. It sucks. People who hven't been on the receiving end of this BS, have no idea/cannot fathom how ugly it is. I wanted to send H a text but didn't. But I had a moment where I really wnated to.
Driving in rush hou this morning, I start thinking about the girl giving my H a bl-w job. I know. Bad thought. But it's waht was on my mind. I wonder if he regrets telling me the details. Why did he tell me? Why if he wanted a D anyway? I remembered how we we went to dinner in the summer and him asking me if I ever regretted anything in my life. I said I regretted leaving my studies halfway done long ago and asked him if he regretted anything. He said he regretted getting married. And said he didn't meant it personally, just that he felt our r dynamic changed after we M'ed. Okaay. I wouldn't say that to him ever. I wonder if he knows my pain. If he knows he broke my heart... (I told him this once). Does he know, really know? I also feel cnoflicted cause I have guilt from moving out of our home. So it's a double-edged sword. It's like a whirlwind.
I know all of this is "unproductive thoughts" like Clinging says. But I still wonder and hate that this was the end result.
Violin, that's geat that you have found that DB tools work on your W. LOL. So what were you exact words to her?
Bobbi, I do think you can love someone too much, also.
I never want to love someone like taht again. There, I said it.
Got a crazy ass week in front of me ... 3 exams, 1 lab and a paper all within the next 5 days...
I am not sure I ever *want* to love someone that much again. The emotional heart damage of getting burned isn't worth it, IMO. Though it's not like you can measure your feelings and only dole out a certain amount. Annoying.
Don't "They" say it's better to be practical vs. passionate about love? What are your opinions on that?
(((((sol))))) I get why a lot of us feel this way. But... well, I don't like that it gives so much power over how we feel to "them"!
And I think "They" are full of crap. There's room for some practical, but if you go about love in a practical way, I think you end up forgetting why you are even there anyway.
Doing a bit of mindreading here, but I think that's how my xw approached things, and I hated it.
For some insight into how it can be different, read "Passionate Marriage". Not an easy read (I haven't read it cover to cover, word for word), but it shows that there is another way.
Anyway, my bottom line is that I don't believe you can love too much, but you can forget that you need to love yourself.
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