You asked the question: “What were you like when you dated?” I was strong. I was independent. I was ready to have fun and live my own life. I was brutally honest. I had just ended an abusive relationship and I didn’t want to be with him or depend on him for anything. I not only didn’t pursue, I pushed him away.
I want to be that person again.
How do I get there?
The first step is to stop all pursuing of H. It takes too much time and energy from me and my girl.
1. No more pictures of H on FB. This is for my friends and family now. He can look or not look if he chooses. 2. No more offers for him to use the house when I am not there. It is fine with me if he does come by, but I don’t need to offer. 3. No more offering the computer for him to use. If he needs it he can ask. I prefer to keep my privacy anyway. 4. Don’t offer any more ‘help’ with anything. If it doesn’t affect me or my daughter, then let it go. 5. Text and email only information that he needs to know or that I need an answer for. 6. Get him to set a schedule for overnights and stick to it. 7. Start holiday gifts now. Don’t ask for input. These will be from the “********” family, whoever that may include. BTW, D3 & I qualify as a family all on our own. 8. Start holiday preparations without him. Don’t put our holiday on hold for him.
