Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[Albuquerque]

The thing is I worry that I'm throwing away all progress if I do that now.

I totally get what you're saying here. But don't forget that YOU cannot change or fix HIM. You can only improve you. I'm far from reconciled in my R, but I've found some of the things my H has told me to be very enlightening. He didn't start peeking out of his fog because of anything I DID regarding the R. He was steadily becoming more and more distant and I allowed it. I worked on myself. And he NOTICED. He couldn't help but notice the changes in ME. He said I glowed when he'd see me and that was what really got him to rethink all his previous decisions. I didn't make those changes for him. I made them for me. I wasn't aware I was "glowing". I wasn't even aware he noticed anything. They do. Work on you. What were his complaints about you that you know have some validity. What about yourself do you feel needs work? Tackle those issues head on. Not for him or to save the M. But to make you a better you. That way no matter what happens down the line, you'll STILL be a better you. There's no way to gauge the health of your current R right now since your H himself probably has no idea. By working on yourself, you can never lose. I'm not saying ignore him or go NC if you don't want to. For some, it's needed. For me, my H never LET me go NC since he always seemed to want to be around slightly. Makes detaching harder but it is possible. I know you can do this Pie. No straight jackets needed!

Am I crazy?

As LBS aren't we all