I love your positive spirit. It's going to serve you well!
Work it girl! sg
lol thanks ! i'm 'trying' to be positive is the main thing.. it's a daily struggle and i had a bit of a breakdown yesterday.. was a long day at work and then i had night class and was biting my lip all night to hold back the tears and when i got in the car to go home i just broke down sobbing.. it's the memories and the future plans we had and thinking about the holidays alone that are killing me. It just breaks my heart. Because we still live together, I had to sneak into the house right past him so he couldn't see my red eyes and nose.. It comes in waves, i'm not always feeling sorry for myself.. some days are really hard to manage and some days like today i feel a bit more positive, it all depends how i'm feeling and what triggers my sadness. I can't shut off the 'fantasy thoughts' though about what I hope to accomplish in the next few months and dreaming of him coming back to me.. I'm sure that mode of thinking isn't all that healthy but it sort of fuels me and helps me move forward.
He is still trying to rush our separation, and whenever he broaches the subject of moving out ,I calmly manage to talk him out of it because financially it would ruin us. He's trying to get his parents to take over our house and he wants to move out as soon as possible, I'm rather insulted by the proposition of his parents taking our home, it's still my home as far as I'm concerned. We have so much debt that it is ludicrous to suggest either of us moving out right now and our house is in the middle of repairs and renovations which will take $$'s to fix. He just started a new business that he's getting off the ground and he can't afford to risk that right now either. I am hoping because we're stuck together that i can make a 180 and prove to him that i'm the person he still loves and wants to be with. I really hope this gets easier, it's too emotionally draining.
I hope you're not that pathetic anymore sg lol cuz it gives me hope
Me-41 H-34 T-9 M-8 10/21/10-BOMB 11/01/10-H moves out 01/27/12-H files
"Good memories tell you that your past was worth it, bad ones tell you that you were strong enough to go on"
