You know, there's truth to that. My girlfriend and I have noticed, if a guy we're not too sure about, confounds us by not calling back, suddenly we're a little more interested. Probably a useful tip for you guys. Curiosity killed the cat.
And I want to know if that mystery goes both ways--gents, do you totally want us if we don't get back to you?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I would die for some PT, and it would not at all have to be sexual.
Yes, I am enjoying the affection so much, not just the sex. I guess Guitarist and I are making up for a lot of years of being touch-starved.
Originally Posted By: kml
Right now, the East Coast guy clearly IS depressed, the 27 year old obscenely too young, and the 44 year old guy turns out to be married in some kind of weird open relationship. So I would gladly settle for a little fun with the 34 year old at this moment in time.
You're setting up false choices for yourself kml! Don't waste your time on any of the above 4! Plenty of fish in the sea. If you're not getting enough guys contacting you, try rotating your profile pic. Also, on the site I was on, people could see if you viewed them...that would get people looking at my profile who otherwise hadn't noticed me.
I hear ya on wanting the fun. But you know, you deserve the kind of fun where you don't have to get stuck in a mindreading loop because the guy is not being clear with you. Look at how much mental energy you're spending on this based on a parking lot kiss...imagine how it would be if you were getting mixed signals after starting a fling? It can be a lot better than that.
I think that as women our brains often like to gnaw away at this kind of thing like a dog on a bone...and our DB experience can reinforce that esp. if we focus on the WAS a lot. It's OK to do it a bit but I find that it gets obsessive (it did when I was dating the guy who it didn't work out with for 5 weeks) and I have to work on thought-stopping.
As far as people who are less available being more attractive, there's a lot of truth to that and some people use it to their advantage. For women, it's really worth reading Why Men Love Bitches. Very stupid title because the author is clearly not talking about bitches. But she is talking about feminine assertiveness and how to put men in pursuit mode. I don't follow the advice to the letter, but it's definitely influenced me and I've noticed that a lot of it "works". Thing is though, you don't want to waste time using tactics on the wrong guy. And I advocate being picky about a guy even if it is just a fling or "booty call relationship" (which probably describes the kind of R I"m in).
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
* That 34% of women over the age of 40 date much younger men * That 35% of the abovementioned women prefer dating younger men rather than men their age. * That cougar-cub connections are among the fast growing relationship patterns in the world.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Here's a concept: Listen to your intuition, your inner voice. Your gut rarely steers you wrong.
Also.. what does it indicate when a question needs so much input? Here's a little thing I follow.
If it's right, the answer is yes. If it's wrong, the answer is no. If I can't decide or waffle, the answer is no.
If you want my input, it's G. If you fret this much after a single smooch, imagine how anxiety producing anything else would be. After all, it should be from YOUR perspective, what you're looking for rather than him (describing and/or making excuses for his behavior).
And I want to know if that mystery goes both ways--gents, do you totally want us if we don't get back to you?
If I am attracted to you and I think we have good chemistry but you don't get back to me within a day or two at the most, then I think you are not interested. It may keep me wondering about you but after doing that waiting game with my XW for the last 1.5 years I am not going to do it anymore. Call it baggage or whatever, I call it experience!
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
I'm not voting playa. A playa wouldn't give you that much time to slip away, he'd be making a move.
No, not really, not if he has a girlfriend or wife. Rather, the strategy would be to keep a few hot lines open to call when he gets a free moment and a little time to slip away...
Engineering Nerd??? That explains everything! Josh has an engineering degree from an Ivy League University. He was in school so long he was very late in looking for a significant other. And he missed the boat so to speak.
This cougar says - stop sweating. The world is your oyster right now. Just see what plays out and keep all your options open.
You are beautiful, intelligent and worldly. Any guy who wouldn't want to be with you is not worth considering.