Glam you have good points....my friends tell me that I'm too nice, and try to keep everyone happy, even at my own expense...I have a hard time to just ignore it when someone is upset with me...I want to fix it..even with my MLC H...but I know that with him it's unfortunately no win, no matter what I do it's turned against me.
CW - yes I had a nice time
Received one email from H about work...asking my advice and help with something....like nothing has happened....no anger just a polite co-operative email.
Then received another email addressing the exchange last week.
Do you have anything you want to discuss? Or have you received anything from your layer you want to share with me?
I didn’t reply to your last email... I have just worked long hours all weekend — with the exemption of 3 hours I went to see my dad yesterday — and I am just beat. Also so tired of arguing.... I so wish we didn’t...
I still didn't reply to that one
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Finally got the draft of the SA from my lawyer and decided to meet with H to discuss it and ask for his input....and that's what we did.
Asked him where he wants to meet, coffee shop or if he wants more privacy how about his place....the reply was "we better make it the coffee shop" ....wonder why? was it messy or he doesn't want me to see something?
It was a 2 hour meeting...overall went well. Accept for some minor points he seems to be agreeable to everything. We both got emotional at times, even held hands and he said the he is really sorry about everything. Sorry he may be, but that's not changing his resolve. He is willing to give up everything...the house, car, 1/2 interest in business....he must really want this woman....if he signs this agreement he will be as poor as a church mouse...at his age to do this for a woman, don't tell me he is not crazy.
Oh yes and the sticky points we went over was the division of our Travel Club usage and how/by whom is it going to be used....just shows you where his head is when that's his priority.
He wants the SA emailed to him, "so that he can get some advice" I can guess who is going to be giving him the advice....
My overall feeling after today is that he is still very much into the OW and there seem to be no thinking of anything else.....he sounds like he is done with me and not even doubting his decision.
Another thing he said that he can't sleep at all without his pills....not good.
That's about it....SA is going back to my Lawyer now for final touches....we will see if he signs it after OW goes over it.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Oh Mila! That does go to show how deep he is! At least you were able to talk to him...will be intersting to see what changes after he gets his "advice".
My H's agreement was the same...it stated that everything that is in our current possession belongs to us...there are hundreds if not thousands of dollars of tools in the garage that are now apparently mine (if we both agree and sign)!
I found out that my H is also using sleeping pills...something he would have never done before....
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW thank you - my H never used sleeping pills prior to this either.
Speaking of household contents....today was the first time he expressed any interest in them...after I brought it up. I told him that I will have to probably sell the big pieces of antique furniture...it won't fit in a smaller place....he said "I don't want to sell anything...I'll take it". I asked where are you going to put it? He said "in storage". Well I can do the same thing if I wanted to pay for storage. Kind of interesting that he cares about them and doesn't want to sell them....
Got a call from him tonight, wanted to know what time he was born....if I have any documents that that would be on...checked for him, but didn't find anything. He wants to have his astrological chart done and needs the time of his birth....him? astrological chart?....that shows me that he is looking for some answers....
Oh yes, just remembered...OW's H told me that OW consulted a 800number psychic who told her that my H & her are soul mates from past lives...
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
He is willing to give up everything...the house, car, 1/2 interest in business....he must really want this woman....if he signs this agreement he will be as poor as a church mouse...at his age to do this for a woman, don't tell me he is not crazy.
Is it possible that your H just wants relief from his emotional pain?..........doesn't necessarily want OW? He is so deep in the fog that he can't distinguish between the two.
Originally Posted By: Mila
Got a call from him tonight, wanted to know what time he was born....if I have any documents that that would be on...checked for him, but didn't find anything.........OW consulted a 800number psychic who told her that my H & her are soul mates from past lives...
OMG! Astrology is interesting, but could they actually be making big decisions based on their charts?
Yes it is possible...he thinks that being with Her and away from us will make him happy....well so far it didn't work....he is still miserable...so maybe once the SA is done he will feel happier?...not
Yes EEK is right....how desperate...two lost souls looking for answers....and maybe justification for what they are doing
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Just remembered, asked my lawyer about my legal right re: H coming to the house when he wants to.
This is what she said....
In theory, you cannot exclude him from the house unless you have a court order that you have exclusive possession of the family residence; in practice, you can tell him that you don't want him to come to the house unless you are there, that it is not good enough that your child invites him in (if that is the case), that you would not think about going into his apartment.
It is still an asset over which he has a 1/2 interest but it is no longer his home. If you were to call the police about it, they would likely escort him out but also tell you they are not coming back for this issue, that you should speak to your lawyer as this is a civil matter. And I would have to commence court proceedings for an order for exclusive possession.
If you just change the locks, your D may just let him in anyway, or he will ask you D to come in and it puts her in the middle which is stressful for her.
...maybe it will be helpful to someone else.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Interesting Mila, the sleeping pills must be part of the MLC journey. My h took them too. Said he had trouble sleeping and then used them to sleep the day away too.
I wouldn't read too much into him not showing you his place. Just another part of the MLC journey.
I wouldn't read too much into wanting to do everything for this ow. The confusion and fog takes over so much of their thinking.
Sounds like you are doing good though!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Astrology is interesting, but could they actually be making big decisions based on their charts?