it's important to start your new thread so we don't get confused as to who's advising who. But you're otherwise in the right place. And you read Div Remedy so that's great.
Although we say "this is all about her" the thing is, YOU have to be all about YOU now. Because all you can control is you, your reactions, your proactive changes in life, new classes or hobbies and new people in your life, etc, is something you can and MUST do. That's the GAL, and having a Pos Mental Attitude too. I KNOW that's hard (it's Mother Teresa hard, trust me, been there, done that). But you must remember this:
You have children watching how a man of dignity and grace, responds to a big body blow. Someday, they too, will face a betrayal and setback as you are now. Show them that although your pain is deeply felt, it is NOT fatal. Show them that although your pain is not fleeting, it is also not eternal.
You will get through this. You will laugh again, you will have love in your life again and for now, remember that YOU have the children! Unfair burden? Sure...but you must realize how lucky you are for that.
Most men lose their wives AND a chunk of their kids' lives when their wives go batchit on them. You won't, and for that, you must be grateful. Remind the kids that YOU will be there for them b/c they need MAJOR reassurances now. This has rocked their world. The ONE person who is always supposed to be there for you, (to kids) is a mother. Sure, fathers are supposed to as well, but in reality, often the dads are not around. You are. That counts.
My kids say that what helped them most was when I told them that if the only way I could have THOSE people (ie my kids) in my life, was to go through all the pain and upheaval of our m and my h's MLC, I would again in a heartbeat. They're worth it. They did not cause any of our problems. IN fact, they were a big part of why I DB'd in the first place. They knew/know that I will always make them the priority in my life and that no matter what, I won't leave. This counts more now than ever. Reassure them, please.
No mother is unmoved by the loving interaction between the father of her children and them. You'll never regret rising to the occasion as you must now. Will post more later when you have your own thread. Keep posting, you are in the right place.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
