Time, one thing that made you feel so alive with OM was that it fed your ego! Think about a man 20 yrs younger than you....wow! That has to make a girl feel like she's still got it. There is something about a man's attention (who isn't our H) that makes us feel good. Unless the man's a creep! Am I right? We get used to our H complimenting us,etc., but for a stranger to think we're beautiful (or whatever)? Being in the frame of mind that we were in....made us very vulnerable. That's why we have to find the strength to pull out of it. You can do this, Time.
Another thing is that one of your love language is probably words of affirmation. And all those sweet things he said and your hanging on to them for dear life. You deleted everything from the computer and the memory of his words is all you have left......so you keep them going over & over.
Don't you see that everything you were getting from this EA was feeding your ego? Who doesn't like to have their self esteem shot up once in a while? But you & I got hooked on the ego food. We didn't want anyone to take that away from us b/c it felt so good.
Drug addicts are the same way. Anyone who is addicted feels the same way. "Don't take it away from me! I have to have it!" The withdrawls are a have-to in order to get over it. As I said before,coming here to this board instead of contacting OM was one of my main ways of getting through the withdrawls.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
