Albuquerque living part 2: Road to recovery?

[Albuquerque]

Thanks TAMF,

The stress of this all is definitely getting to me. My tension headaches are back again. H asked how I was doing and I mentioned my headaches. He joked that it couldn't be because of the sex. I just told him I was stressed in general and needed to stop thinking so much. He asked if talking would help (we were texting). I told him I wasn't sure and admitted to him that when he was gone (emotionally), things, in a weird way, were a little easier since I knew what to expect. Now things are very nebulous and that goes against my grain and as a result, it's stressing me out. But I also added that it was my problem, not his. He responded with a simple "Ahh". In a way, it was good to at least get that off my chest.
I admit this has not been easy. I've been trying my best to keep my focus on me and D. But since H has stated he plans to make all these changes, I can't help but think about them and wonder if and when he'll be making them. I'm back to wondering if my holidays will be with him IN the house or still in his apartment. Clearly, this line of thinking is not healthy for me. At the same time, living "as if" he's not moving back seems counter-intuitive since he's stated he plans to. ARGH. Frustrating to say the least. But you are absolutely right TAMF. As frustrating as it is for me, I know its 10 times so for him. I will strive to keep my self occupied so I don't have a lot of time for thinking. That'll probably be the best thing for me right now.