Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

I need to vent so I don’t burst. H has been very stressed about his uncles being idiots at the new place. He didn’t say what happened exactly, but he texted last night to say how frustrated he was with them. Around 2:30 this morning, I get a text from H saying he went out drinking last night to let some off the steam off & drank too much & his friend had to drive him home (luckily for him, his friend drove him home as there ended up being a checkpoint to catch drunk drivers). When he woke up this morning, he said he still felt drunk. I didn’t get on him about the drinking b/c I know we all have our setbacks, so I just told him I understood how stressed he was & why doesn’t he come down for lunch today to talk about it. He was agreeable at first but then changed his mind and said that he was stressed out enough that he is ready to get his sleeve (full arm tattoo) done and was going to go over to the tattoo shop instead. Can you imagine – a full arm tattoo – is he crazy!? Honestly, I know it’s just skin deep, but I don’t know if I could be with a man with full tattoos like that. It’s disgusting! At least with his current tattoos, with his shirt on, you can’t even tell. This is just making me want to D him right now! But it’s more than that. 1) I’m upset that he went to a tattoo shop instead of spending that time with me (at lunch) or even going to go visit S. He saw him for about 1 ½ hours on Saturday and that’s been it. 2) Even more so, it’s about the money. I commented how he doesn’t have the money for it (ie, he took the job at the new place for half the pay & his dad is even helping to pay his rent) which he responds that he has more than enough money to cover it with the money he saved to fix up his truck (with unnecessarily fancy rims/tires). He can’t even help me pay for OUR son, yet he has extra money to get a tattoo now!!! At that point, I shut down. I was fuming and didn’t want to say something I would regret. It doesn’t matter what I say, he’s not going to pay any money to me and that’s not going to change without legal action. If things don’t get resolved soon, it’s going to come to that & he’s in for a rude awakening. I’m just really upset right now on so many levels and also disappointed too that he’s slipped back to using alcohol and tattoos to deal with his problems. Why can’t he see this!? Well, there goes our “up” time. Yes, I could have avoided a “down” by being supportive of his tattoo, but I can’t fake it this time and this is just ridiculous. I’m angry and he knows it, and his automatic reaction to my anger is to be angry right back (even if he has no reason to be). It’s so frustrating! Arrrgggg!