Personal opinion here, not sure if in line with DB thoughts. I have been on the receiving end lately of hearing about everything my W did...and it hurts. So if he knows already, don't open up those wounds again. No details. No excuses. For me, that would make it worse to have to read it and because it is in writing, I might read it more than once and play it over in mind...not good.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Personal opinion here, not sure if in line with DB thoughts. I have been on the receiving end lately of hearing about everything my W did...and it hurts. So if he knows already, don't open up those wounds again. No details. No excuses. For me, that would make it worse to have to read it and because it is in writing, I might read it more than once and play it over in mind...not good.
So Gutwrenching, as a person who is basically in my husbands shoes, would you say there is anything that I could say to make him feel better, instead of worse? He probably did read and re-read.
I know you want an answer to this and I wish I could. But I doubt I can offer much. We are in very different places. I came here like you did..your H is not in a place to process the information and react how you would like him too. My understanding of people's advice here is for you to do this for you, if you need this to help heal and move on. So keep the focus there. I just wanted to help steer you away from opening up a wound even further. Your H is probably hurting, his pride has been hurt, he is angry...you can't change how he feels and you can't change the timeline for him to deal with all this.
For me, there are certain things i want to hear from my W, but that is me, those are my feelings and neither of us can mind read what it is your H wants to hear right now. I think he and I are in way too different of a place. For me about the only thing that would remotely make me feel better not worse is a sincere commitment to look towards the future, bury the past, and let me know she realizes the huge mistake.
Be honest, don't seem needy, get this out of you so you can move onward and upward.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
SOA, Don't give him all the details of what you discussed w/ the online dudes. Just acknowledge that you know you did wrong and you know that it hurt him and would do anything to take it back/wish it wouldn't have happened/own it, etc.
SOA, Don't give him all the details of what you discussed w/ the online dudes. Just acknowledge that you know you did wrong and you know that it hurt him and would do anything to take it back/wish it wouldn't have happened/own it, etc.
He knows what I did with the online dudes. But yes, I know I was wrong and I would do anything to take it back, and anything to salvage our relationship, and piece our lives back together.
Rough night last night. I wrote my letter. Wanted to sleep on it before I sent it. I've been reading and rereading it all day. It comes from the heart. I think I will send it tonight.
SOA, Don't give him all the details of what you discussed w/ the online dudes.
is because you asked this:
Originally Posted By: So Ashamed
How much detail do I get into about what I did in my email to him?
You already said he knows what was said between you and said dudes, so what I meant was that there is no reason to bring up all those conversations/nitty gritty parts of it which I don't think you were going to anyway.
