Pie's Story - he's comfortable again

[TAMF]

The land of limbo...I f@*ckig hate it. But here we are - suck in it. I know when the vetrans here keep telling us to GAL and detach, they are saying this because it really helps us get our mind off of THEM constantly. We need to do this so that thier actions (or lack of action) doesn't affect our emotions.

The tricky part is when you have young kids like you and I do. When you have young kids and our H is still very actively involved with them (which is wonderful, we have to talk to them and see them ALL THE TIME. How to detach when they are there but not there?

There have been numerous times I have thought - this is it, I am done. I can't take any more. I am a good person! I was a good wife! There is someone out there that had a crappy wife and would think I was God's gift! I deserve to be loved just as much as I love!

Then I have time to think. And I know that I am not done, because what I deserve is my H to love me the way I love him. and if there is any kind of a chance for that, I have to get out of his way and take care of myself and my kids the best I can right now today.

Redirect my thoughts.

stop thinking about him and what he might be doing. Just stop.

read a book, watch a movie, come onto this site, call a friend, go shopping, focus on work, have a friend tell you how crappy thier life is right now, make a big dinner with my girls help, go hiking. Anything, something.

when we have young kids detaching is very hard, but it is possible. I just tell myself that today I want my relationship to work, today I am standing. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow or if I will still be standing and that is okay. Today is all that matters.