Hi Jolly, I'm new here too. I'm probably the last one to give advice on relationships, but what belle said about pursuing, taking care of yourself, being the best you can be, seems to be working for me(sloooowly). I don't know if these techniques work the same for men and women, but hell I didn't know a thing about how to have a healthy relationship until the Bomb hit in july.
I pursued hard in the early days, probably trying to hard to undo the hurt I caused my wife in the past. I know it is hard not to, in my case it was a bad, bad idea.
Also just because your spouse does not acknowledge the positive changes your making, don't think they don't notice. My wife mentioned to my daughter, "whats up with your father, I wish he acted this way 5 yrs ago"
Hang in there, hopefully we will all get through this.
