It sounds like you and I had a parallel situation!
You are right-- OM has become my surrogate H because of H's neglect. I WISH my husband noticed. During the "giddy" stage my D did notice... Asking me "What's so funny about about a checkmate? You laugh when you lose?" Hmmm. Yeah -- I did... Didn't even care if I lost actually. Actually, my previously superior game went to pot these last few weeks -- Couldn't beat him to save my life!
Ok, started baby steps to focus on ME. Taking your advice to heart since it sounds like you know exactly where I was mentally, physically, emotionally. Near the bottom.
Ok, very small steps... did my long neglected facial routine before bedtime. Took care of medicines/hormones I usually neglect. Took my thyroid medicine this morning. WALKED 51 minutes!!!!!!!!!!! (this is huge, and the weather is finally cool enough for me to be outside...listened to my IPOD and it was great).
I'd like to take salsa classes. My H never liked dancing, which was a big part of my life and something OM was willing to try for me. I know! Can see you rolling your eyes, Lol.
The point is, I'm trying to focus on getting back to the person I was before M dragged me down. Also, I need to refocus on starting my career up... Something I put on ice for my H's career moves and my kids (H's travel schedule put some big breaks on there, but as kids start driving... Should get better). Health issues also made my pretty high stress profession difficult, but I need to do something rather than all the volunteer stuff I do for kids schools.
It's not so much A part of OM connection that I miss, it's that friendship we've had over a year before EA. :(((. lonely.
Sandi, thank you so much. I'm not sure what I would have done without you to talk to... you really get it, and know what's happening in my head.
Been a bad girl today... No interaction except silent chess moves with OM. he's pulling back too, since I went dark. A little mad at me, but for the most part... I think he 's trying to give me space and avoid getting into this deeper now that I've sent the warning sign up. So, makes it easier for me since it's not all giddy love anymore. sadly, it's evoking the feelings in me that my H first did... Wanting to pursue because of his pull back, withdrawing from sitch. Now, I have not one man rejecting me but two (at least that is how it feels).
If my H would show me some itty bitty bit of love, it would be really easy to walk away from EA. So sad...
I've got a big meeting tonight, and early morning event so I'll have much of the next 24 hrs preoccupied. You are right Sandi... That insomnia combined with the time difference with OM makes night time hard. Not able to eat:(
