Kind of about arguing, kind of not. More wondering about how to give a spouse the benefit of the doubt.

The other day, H said something that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It came across as insulting; disrespectful. However I was exhausted from trip home to see my parents (my dad's very ill) that I'd just come home from. So I didn't question him about what he'd said right then because I just didn't want to get into it.

So this simmers all that evening, then all day yesterday and all last night. By this morning I'm in full-scale insecurity mode and finally mentioned it. I can't even remember how I brought it up; I was careful not to blame and he handled it really kindly. Some gentle, loving teasing about insecurities and reassured me that I'd misunderstood his intent. So all's good. But it made me think of other times we've had interactions like this in the past. Many times it's ended up very badly indeed.

So I'm wondering this - when you spouse says something in everyday conversations that you feel is rude or hurtful how do you question what they said (to protect your boundaries in case they're starting to step over the line again) while at the same time showing them the respect they deserve in case you really just misunderstood their intent (or it was an innocent slip of the tongue)?

I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.