Thanks sg, I really needed to hear that patience and care is what is needed now. I'm going to need a bottomless pit of that .
My IC and I get along great. He says there are no "good or bad guys" in this case. Urges me to work on myself and get better at communicated with w. He says this mess took a long time to create and is going take a while to resolve.
UPDATE About a month ago she told me she felt a little smothered by me, so I backed off bigtime. The problem I have is dealing with the fact that she works with this "friend". She visited him 2 weeks ago (he called off work)and told him she wants to work on her marriage and family. I know that he has been IM/texting her on days since then and fear that he is not going to just let us alone to work this out.
So while I'm giving her space about relationship issues, he may be gently using his emotional ties to keep himself close to her. (I know I'm doing alot speculating here,but from where I just came from I can't help it)
I'm trying hard to control myself , but I want to call him and tell him to BackTheF OFF! This I'm sure would backfire on me. She gets defensive if I try to talk about him almost as if she is protecting him.
I guess after reading "punchy"s latest post about roommates,(altough no 2 sitch are the same),we have similar problems, especially the emotional wall and I don't want be here a yr from now in that position. I feel for him, but unfortunately I have nothing to offer, I'm in the same boat.
I guess,.....patience,forgivness,understanding etc. is all I can do now.
