Is there any hope for us? 2

[So Ashamed]

I know I've been acting like a nut. Thanks to everyone who is sticking around to encourage me. I'm sure some of you are banging your head on the wall wondering why I can't get your good advice thru my thick head.

[soleil]

We can give you advice. The rest is up to you.

I do believe you are in a depression right now. And a depression is no joke. Very hard to get out of, SOA.

Enough with the Sorry's to us. We know already. Quit beating yourself up. You really have to change your self-talk or you're not going to make any progress.

Here's another twist:
For all the hurt and pain I caused you in our marriage, I take complete ownership and responsibility of my actions. I am working very hard every day with prayer and counseling to ensure that I am a changed person. I never want to go back, only forward. I can only hope that in time you might open your heart to new possibilities. I am deeply sorry.

Blue's post is 100% accurate.

[So Ashamed]

I am depressed. I see my new IC on Friday. I hope it helps me.

[So Ashamed]

OK, I know I need to try to see things from his perspective. Any suggestions for reading material that will help me to better appreciate the viewpoint of the betrayed spouse?

[soleil]

Did you send the email?

[So Ashamed]

Did you send the email?

No, I'm working on it. Trying to make sure it's well thought out before I push send. It will go out today or tomorrow.

[So Ashamed]

Do you think it's wise or unwise to bring up his anger in my email to him? Such as...

"I know you are very angry about what I've done, and I'm sorry for hurting and upsetting you?"
or is that mind reading?

[gutwrenching]

If you know he is angry, then validate his reasons for being angry...

[soleil]

I think you should say whatever you want to say, personally and yes, it's a very goo idea to VALIDATE how he feels/why he feels that way.

[So Ashamed]

How much detail do I get into about what I did in my email to him? I mean, he knows everything. What he doesn't know is that despite the fact that I did these awful things, I really do love him. (hard to believe, right?) Do I address any of those issues specifically?