Should I stay, or should I go now?

[WithoutANet]

I may have seriously messed up yesterday, or our relationship took one huge step forward. Not sure right now.

I have laryngitis, which means I cannot do my job. I took the day off yesterday. Since we pay for preschool whether D2 attends or not, I got her up and out the door, then returned home and went to bed. Got some nice and much-needed extra hours of sleep.

I woke up to see H looking back at me, intently. My initial reaction would have been to cozy up to him, and I started to, but a voice in my head said, "If he really wants you, he will show you." So I turned over and moved away. He followed me.

I'm not going to go into the details, but there was much R talk that ensued. I basically asked him if I were being used for his physical needs, and he said no. He was very affectionate, and passionate at that. He says it should be obvious that he loves me because we are still together, in the same house. He said he must want it to work, or he would be gone.

He said that he is still having difficulty getting over some of the more hurtful and downright abusive things I said (pre-bomb), but that he has noticed a huge change in me since then. He just doesn't know if he can trust those changes. Guess I need to just keep on keeping on.

He also said that he needs more space and that I need to realize that, while I may be ready to R, he isn't necessarily on the same time-frame.

He continued to be affectionate until he had to leave for work, and then he texted me, several times, once he was gone. He hasn't taken the initiative to text me a a long time -- maybe since the bomb. He got called to a double murder, late, so he got home very late and just crawled into bed. I grabbed his hand and D told him bye-bye.

I'm tempted to pull back a little bit, to see what happens. I sure hope I didn't screw everything up.