I think after doing the customary self-examination, and the extensive personal rehab, we need to take the time to take an honest look at our spouses, too. It takes two to make a healthy relationship and since the WAS tends to make poor relationship choices from the get go, the odds are that they need to do a lot of work themselves. If they won't/can't, doesn't much matter what we do.
At some point, I'll chronicle "the rest of my story," but suffice it to say that after doing all the work on myself, which I do not regret, I found out that my wife has been hiding some significant mental health issues and right now I'm doing what I can to make sure she gets healthy for herself and for my children. I've led the horse to water, now I can only hope that she drinks.
Moral of the story, it ain't always us, and sometimes the sitch is out of our control.
