Albuquerque living part 2: Road to recovery?

[Albuquerque]

Journaling,

So today was our usual sushi dinner night. Haven't seen H since last week. He seemed OK but also seemed to have pulled back a bit slightly. Not a major shift but noticeable. Dinner was OK and he talked with D a lot about some of her school issues. As we were saying goodbye I asked if he wanted me to call him later. He'd told me several times that he needed to talk to me about the craziness of the weekend. He said I could if I wanted to but that there wasn't really anything to tell. It was just that he had run out of Xanax. I said OK and D and I went home.

Once at home, I texted him to let him know that if there wasn't anything, I wouldn't bother calling and that I had only mentioned it since he had said several times that he wanted to tell me about the weekend. Again, he said there wasn't much to tell other than he felt like he was actually going through Xanax withdrawls since he had run out on Wednesday and his doctors office screwed up his refills and he wasn't able to get any more until today. He said at the time, it felt like it was more of a story than it actually was. THEN he says that he got to thinking that perhaps some of the "stuff" (apart from actual sex) might be damaging in its own way. I didn't really know what he meant by that and thought about asking for clarification, but decided it didn't matter. I just asked "is it?" He said "I think so to some degree". So I told him to "do what he needs to do" and to let me know if I'm doing something "damaging". He said "I know. Thank you "

So I really don't know what the hell he was talking about. I'm guessing maybe the occasional smooching and flirting via text/online? I figured it didn't matter since I'll continue to let him take the lead on what he wants to do. I'm thankful that I've not told anyone about his statement last week that he wants to move back in. I have to wonder if he's not rethinking that. I don't know that he's reverted THAT far, but things are certainly going a lot slower than I think even he was planning. I'm glad I haven't really made ANY presumptions about that and am continuing on as previously planned. I also can't make any presumptions about the OW but without any evidence to the contrary, I have to assume she's still in the picture.

The rollercoaster ride continues.