You don't have to stop caring, Mystik. It's been over 15 years since I D'd my first H and I still care about him. Do I want to be married to him? ummm, no. But it took me several years after I d'd him to get the clarity on our M. Just like you I didn't want to/couldn't do it for a long time but then I had to, he pushed me to, just like your H is pushing you to.
The GAL, 180's, detaching are all strategies to help you with the process of letting go. That IS how you let go a little at a time through the process of finding yourself again or maybe, in your case, finding yourself for the first time.
Have you really done anything for GAL activities? If not, take a baby step. It will feel wrong at first but keep it up. Over time, you'll wonder why you never did it before.
