CW, My former spouse displayed clincal depression throughout most of our marriage and he was extremely passive-aggressive. He never displayed any type of emotion except extreme anger when cornered. His mother said he was very hard to read and he didn't laugh very often. In many ways, he was like a child. He would want what everyone else had, but lost interest in whatever it was after about 6 weeks, no matter the amount of time, energy and money was put into purchasing the item of interest.
Everyone else was to blame for anything that happened. He would never accept responsiblity for his actions. He had a way of "freezing" people out of his life.
Throughout the marriage he looked to me to "fix" everything in his life, just as he relied on his brother to fix things for him when he was a child. He still tries to suck me in so that I will assist him in whatever he's doing at the moment....unfortunately, he doesn't understand or want to understand what the word divorce is.
Bottom line, my former spouse had a lot of unresolved childhood issues that went from abandonment, to lack of admiration and validation to some emotional abuse by two young parents who cared for only themselves and not their children.
Cas, I apologize for the hijack. Some day soon, I'll post a complete update on dear old Rip Van Winkle for he is still in slumber land.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
