I wouldn't call it that, but with us....it was a matter of healing. He had been hurt so bad and I was a mess, so it was us both working and it took some time before I had any "energy" to try for sparks.
In the past, I had always been the one to come up with the romantic ideas and try to keep the fires burning. But after the EA, I just didn't have it any longer. I would read where the love feelings would return, but frankly....the way I felt at first, I didn't really care if the love returned or not. That's how bad it was.
Has your H ever discussed the SSM?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
