Well, since you "know you can get what you want if you wanted to" from OW then to me it seems you are desperate for some measure of control.
You have no control over your W but you do seem to *think* you have control over this impending mess with OW. And when you (generally speaking) feel you have control over a situation you (again, generally speaking) tend to gravitate to what is most controlled.
Rebuilding a marriage is not about control. So are you really learning anything by participating in this *thing* with OW? Basically you are doing the same thing that your W did to you when she had her EA. So I am just trying to understand what exactly your goal is here.
Having a lady on the side you can "get with" if you want to really isn't conducive to doing the work on YOU and your M (should that happen). Then what? You will have to dump this lady and say "gee thanks ma'am but you are of no use to me anymore". Then your W will have to get over the fact you had an EA while you were supposed to be working on being a better man.
Personally I think your W is just seeing how long she can have you be her puppet but that is for another post.
I mean... you have said before you *need* somebody to tell you look good and how fly you are. You *needed* somebody to take care of you and so on.... so OW does that now. Then what?
When you don't get what you need from your spouse you start to resent and once you resent those walls go up. When you have a connection with OW the walls grow thicker. Maybe you *are* trying to sabotage things with your W?
In one post you say you are really just a kid but in another you say you are a grown strong man. Maybe you would be best off just getting to know who you are without the influence of your W or OW.
