Glad to be back at work today. H has D3 for 3 nights this week too. Need to take care of myself and use that time to recharge a bit.
H definately seems to be pulling back, don't know for how long this time. For last night's goodnight call H was tired and grumpy. Not bad, but the cheerfullness was gone from earlier calls.
Need to send him an email about D3 this morning. She was so asd when I dropped her at daycare. Think she still feels wiped out from being sick a few days ago.
I am not feeling as confident as I would like right now, so I was wondering if ya'll would proofread my email to H for persuing. I left out the first part since it is just about D3's buggers and vomit over the weekend. The second part is where I have already self-edited out some chasing and I think it sounds ok, but could use a second aopinion...
Just so you know, I am not going to be taking my computer to work most of the week. I have it today, but won't need it for the rest of the week. I'm either in trainings, doing training, or just plain data entry the rest of this. Feel free to come over and use it to knock out your defensive driving class if you would like. I hope you know that you are welcome to come by the house at any time whether I am there or not.
D3 was really sad and didn't want me to go at drop off today. She calmed down when I reminded her that you are coming to get her from school and that she gets to be with you tonight. She told me a couple times how "daddy held me" when she was scared and sick. I know getting puked on is no fun, but it shows what a devoted daddy you are. You did a great job.
I know you have been working your but off and you weren't really feeling good last week. Hope you got some rest last night and feel better today. Also hope your bartending training went well too.
Hi Zen, I tend to agree too. It seems to me that if he is in the pullback mode, he is on the lookout for feeling 'trapped' by you. I think he needs to know that the other night was 'no big deal' to you either, no strings attached (this was all advice from JoAnn some time ago). I would go back to picturing the squirrel analogy. Just have your picnic. Do something in those three days for yourself and let him notice.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Hey evolve35, it took me a minute, but I love the new name!
Alright everyone. I started by just editing my email down. Then I edited it down some more... and some more. Till there I am looking at the bare bones and thinking... "The people on the DB board are right. There is nothing in here I NEED to tell H."
D3's meds wear off before bedtime, so she is in no danger of an overdose. H can make the call on annother dose of meds without my "help."
H can figure out his class on his own, also without my "help."
The only thing I really need to say is "Hey, I miss you. Don't stay gone too long this time. I'm not ignoring you and the only reason I'm not calling you every night is because I'm afraid you will run away again."
But I can't say that. And in the end that is what my "business" email really said.
So I am not going to send it. It is hard, but I am backing away from the keyboard. Also called D's daycare and had them take out a thank you note for my b-day from her bag. It wasn't mushy, but it just seemed like a bad idea too.
I am SOOO proud of you! I would not be as strong after what happened between the two of you the other night but it is the right thing to do for now. Don't get me wrong, I am not condemning you, you did fantastic if you are the kind of person that can handle it (which you appear to be)... I know my emotional limitations to a point and this would be one. I've literally started picturing my H as a squirrel when I see him... he is kind of hairy anyway. It makes me smile and back away. (which then makes him wonder why I am smiling)
Pat yourself on the back... and maybe get a massage in the next couple of days
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Thanks, evolv. Wasn't sure I was going to make it through! I like your squirel visual. Made me laugh. : )
Once I deleted that email, my whole day got better. I calmed down and refocused at work. I was fine. I let it go and made plans for the rest of the week. Maybe not exciting plans, but plans.
But then... a funny thing happened on the way home tonight...
H calls and tells me he was late getting out of work, so would I mind picking D3 up for him and he will come get her from the house? I say sure, extra time with baby girl is always a plus in my book.
H comes by, about an hour later. He would have made it to daycare with plenty of time before closing, but he said he knew I would rather have her than leave her at daycare when I am home. He can't stay because his mom is cooking dinner, but goes and gets some wine from his car. He was at a tasting today and told me to pick one for me to have tonight. I went with a nice Argento Reserva Malbec. Yummy. I'm enjoying it right now.
He also asked if I had planns for Wednesday night and asked if we could try to talk some more. I said sure and asked if this talk required babysitting, he said no. We could keep D entertained while we talked.
Gave D a goodnight hug and told H she could call me for night-nights if she needed to, but I think we had covered hugs and kisses close enough to bedtime she would be fine.
Hmmm, interesting. Well, don't move now, squirrels are very skittish. Glad you are enjoying your wine... you are no where near a computer or cell phone, right? JK
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
