"The Mercury-ruled Virgo does not blend well astrologically with the Martian tendencies of Aries. Virgo natives are prone to fault-finding and will often prove to be far too precise for the Aries personality. Where Virgo will be logical and analytical, Aries will become impatient. There are many relationships between these two that can work out very well, but it is a constant challenge. Virgo desires a well-ordered existence and will not find happiness beneath Aries dictatorship. In short, the prissy Virgo cannot condone a bossy Aries.
If the Aries partner will allow Virgo space and acknowledge the inherent virtues of this Sign (intellect, precision and logic, for example), then the two can make for a dynamic relationship. The exact qualities that make this a bad team are also the ones which can make it good. In return, if Virgo will grant Aries the leadership of which this Sign is so capable, then there could easily be a relationship where one is "the brains" and the other "the brawn." Although such can work out wonderfully in terms of friendship, it is a difficult situation for intimate relationships. Nonetheless, it can work.
The bold nature of Aries will intrigue the shy, reserved Virgo for a time, but the pair have totally different ideas about what should happen in the bedroom (and elsewhere). The passions of Aries natives are impulsive and direct, but the sexuality of Virgo is more enigmatic and takes time to be revealed. In other areas, Aries is full of exciting new plans and ideas, usually insisting on being the boss. Virgo is critical and fussy, liking things to be done in the manner that Virgo wants. Virgo greatly disapproves of the Aries extravagance, while Aries considers Virgo cold and carping. Quite often, this combination ends up making war instead of love."
The last four sentences kind of sum it up.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
CTH I wonder if next week you will feel like dating again! This is a bumpy, tough road, that is for sure! I just ask because I go through the ups and downs as well... of course once my divorce was final I felt like there was nothing really holding me back, yet my ambivalent feelings stay the same.
As for those women saying you were too controlling to request those conditions be met....WTF? What is controlling about going to a marriage counseling class and getting your finances in order? I am baffled!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
"As for those women saying you were too controlling to request those conditions be met....WTF?"
Newmama, both of the women who said that are going through their third divorces. After, I asked a 30-year-old at the table if she thought I was trying to be controlling. She said, "no. If she really wanted you back she'd make that effort."
The funny thing is it had been a long, long, long time since I'd thought about reconciling.
Now, I mostly think about how it could never work again. It would be so much work to make our two personalities go together and now the trust is gone. I'd always wonder if she wanted me back just because she failed on her own and if the whole process would just start again if she saw some greener grass.
Funny. A lot of people on this site intereact a lot with the Xs and I've worked very, very hard to limit contact with her -- successfully.
It's been a couple of weeks since I saw her and no emails and just one text message exchange on Friday. I have to say I'm missing the contact a little.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Missing the contact? That's a sign that you are doing the right thing. CTH, look at BobbiJo's contact, and then be happy that you have the arrangement (btw, I have to do the same thing - it is only now, 2 years post-D, that occasional contact doesn't make me miss him). I was told by a wise person - does it hurt when you do that? Then stop doing that...
I was told by a wise person - does it hurt when you do that? Then stop doing that...
Over and over again...great advice.
I like this advice!
There will be a time after enough detachment that you'll be able to have the occasional contact with her and it won't kill you or mess with your head. The sooner we accept that these people are not who we thought they were the sooner you can detach from them.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I resisted for a long time. I didn't want to stop loving him, or missing him. But it was not going to be returned to me. So, that is the choice.
You can go on loving and missing them.
Those feelings will naturally, quietly fade, if you stay NC and keep your focus on yourself. It takes time.
The very thought of doing that was just so sad to me...I didn't want to do it. But the other choice I had was painful. I did it alot before I realized that I could choose not to hurt like that.
You don't get happy by picking one of these paths. But you can find peace at the end of one of them.
Yes. I see BBJ and Gabbysmom in constant contact with the Xs and I feel I'm lucky to have been able to put together such a seamless schedule. Sometimes I find I don't have much to post because STBXW is fading quickly into the background.
I guess when I say I'm missing the contact a little, I'm not so sure it's contact with her but with someone.
I keep myself busy -- insanely so at times -- and when I finally get home I still miss not having someone to talk to.
That goes week-to-week though. I have D8 tonight, both tomorrow and then it's my weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, so it'll be run, run, run.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
There will be a time after enough detachment that you'll be able to have the occasional contact with her and it won't kill you or mess with your head.
It reminds me of that scene in 40 Days & 40 Nights where Josh Hartnett sees his ex and she asks him if he never thinks about her anymore and he says "Let me put it this way: I have thought about you - about us - a lot, but tonight, when you came in, was the first time I didn't get all [censored] up about it."
I'm excited for that day, too. Though I think yesterday I did pretty well. I attribute that to both No Contact and cliched time.
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
I guess when I say I'm missing the contact a little, I'm not so sure it's contact with her but with someone.
I keep myself busy -- insanely so at times -- and when I finally get home I still miss not having someone to talk to.
That's probably it. You miss the familiarity of having someone there all the time to talk to/companionship. It's normal. It's a huge loss w/ a D. Quite a life adjustment. It truly is like a death.
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
There will be a time after enough detachment that you'll be able to have the occasional contact with her and it won't kill you or mess with your head.
It reminds me of that scene in 40 Days & 40 Nights where Josh Hartnett sees his ex and goes "That was the first time I Saw you and it didn't f-ck me up in the head."
