LOL about being a "surrogate spouse". Sounds like you haven't forgotten how to flirt
Yeah, it was good practice! Like I said, I knew nothing would come of it and so did she and it was relaxed and fun. She was the only one in the whole group that I didn't know and was very flirty, anyway. Five minutes after we met, she grabbed me and pulled me close while standing at a bonfire and told me to help "warm her up." I was more that happy to oblige and within minutes there were six or eight of us all huddled together, watching fire works.
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IDU, I don't get the impression that the issue is you needing to "try harder" in your interactions with her. It's human nature that when you attach to a new person, you push away the old one and my guess is that's what your W is doing with you.
I know this is true. I guess my question is what do people mean by doing something different? I have learned how important it is to listen and validate and think I do a pretty good job in that area. I go out and do things and don't give her any specifics and it does make her mad, but I don't let her anger get to me. I don't want to give up and I do see occasional changes and cracks in the wall. She is very fast at mending the cracks and the wall is back up and stronger than ever in no time at all.
I guess I'm scared that if I am the one to file, she will not have the humility, even if she all of a sudden had an epiphany, to try again. I know that's not in my control and I shouldn't worry about it, but I do. I know, there I go with my "feelings" again.
Thanks for always listening and always putting a smile on my face!
