When she's mad--how do you handle the conversation. You don't need to work on standing firm. You need to learn how to interact with her.
Well, I validate and really listen. Fri. night she was complaining about the sitter and I used some of Coach's suggested "lines." The convo went really well. I do have to stand up for myself when she comes up with her endless supply of CB. She hates when I call her out on it. For example, last night we were helping the twins with their homework. W was at the counter looking at the calendar when twin1 asked her a question about his homework because I was working with twin2 on his. She said to him, "Just give me a damn minute. I got a lot of shite on my mind and trying to figure out what in the hell we're going to do this week. Just give me two damn seconds." Twin1 hung his head and came back to the table. I said to her, calmly, "W, twin1 didn't deserve to be talked to that way. He was only asking for help, he did not need to be cussed at." She sneered and snickered and said she didn't cuss at him. I said that she had. She was trying to figure out sitters and who was going where for the week and she didn't see me doing anything to help. I said all she had to do was ask. She handles the sitters and continually says she will take care of it. She stormed of, very pissed and I finished up with homework.
It's like this almost all the time. If she initiates the convo, I listen, really listen. When I initiate anything, I get a grunt if anything. What am I missing? If you could give me some examples on how to interact differently with her, I would appreciate it.
Flowmom, GAL has been going great. Have been playing about every other weekend. Always fun. I don't think I really spy much. I don't check her laptop everyday or even every week. I know most communication takes place on her cell phone. Went to a friends 40th b'day party this weekend and just told W I was going out for a while. Had a great time. We all ended up in the hot tub. It was three other couples, me and another girl who was alone. She is also married and her H was at work. She said it wasn't right that everyone else was with someone and we were alone. She asked if she could be my "surrogate" spouse for the night. I said, sure. She got me drinks, sat on my lap, it was like a date with no chance of anything else happening. It reminded me of how things used to be and how much I miss it. Anyway, a good weekend.
