I would also like to point out that my only concern re some of the advice given is that sometimes it seems that there isn't enough focus on helping the noob get to a place where they are following the advice (setting them free, letting go, dropping the rope ... and setting boundaries) from a calm, non-emotional (NOT angry, resentful, vengeful) place. I know you all advocate it, but it seems to get lost in the noise ... with the focus so heavily leaning towards the tactics (the WHAT) sometimes it seems like the HOW (and better yet, how the noob can achieve the HOW) gets too little attention.
i agree with PEI.
i understand why the vets are frustrated when it takes a while for the advice to sink in. newbies who come here are often very emotional and in their own fog. rightfully so due to what they have been dealt - which is probably an 8x16 from their WAS. after being hit by a mack truck, how effective will a 2x4 be?
you have to figure out a way to help them clear the fog before you tell them to 'let go'/drop the rope. advice simply won't sink when they are distraught or desperate. that's why most of them say "i did the begging and pleading thing". vets should know that it took them a while to drop the rope. you are able to look back and say 'if i had only dropped the rope sooner.' the newbie won't understand that. sometimes the newbie has to take that walk of shame in order to come to their senses. there are no short cuts ..
the advice in general is good. healthy debate is good. it won't be the same here.
