It seems like we are at another crossroads where she has decide me or him...she told me she has already made that choice (and she did...from my sitch when she finally realized what S meant and that I was letting go, she ended it with him and asked for another chance to work on our M)...but I think she needs to make it again.
So how to repair and move forward. Well, I know that in my sitch although I never had an EA or PA I definitely had a long-standing attraction to another man. So I'm not sure if that qualifies me to advise... I can share this with you though. Even as my H and have continued to reconnect and find new intimacy, I STILL have had those old feelings come back for this other man occassionally. I find it's when I've been feeling disconnected from my H for a stretch of time, that they come back. But when my H and I take time to do special things together, share meaningful talks, spend quiet physical time together ... even just cuddling, holding one another, that kind of thing... it's when we do all these things that the feelings for that other guy stay far far away and I think... 'what the h&ll was I thinking... this is WAY better than anything I could ever imagine with that other guy!'
So in light of that, do you think that the way to repair and move forward might revolve not just around how to make up after the fight, but around finding ideas as to how you and your W continue feeling connected to one another?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
