The only reason you want him so much is because he doesnt want you.
Plain and simple, laws of attraction you read over and over about.
The problem until you value yourself more then he does nothing will change. Plus at some point you have to ask yourself why would you want to be with someone so "Unforgiving". Especially a "so-called" active Christian.
Either decide to grant him the time to forgive you he needs on his own accord or continue to try and control him by forcing him to make a decision he doesnt want to make.
SA I know how you feel to want someone so badly who won't reciprocate. I can tell you from personal experience, once you genuinely start detaching and putting YOU first, he will come around. This I am sure of.
Honestly, I think us LB gals have a lot more power than the LB guys. Don't underestimate the power of a woman who demonstrates poise and grace. Read Why Men Love Bitches Go get your nails and hair done Hit the gym Get a hot outfit Forget your H, put him on a shelf, let him go. And do all of these things for YOU, not your H, not some other man. You will be utterly surprised who will be knocking at your door if you just start living for YOU.
One of my big issues is his email that accused me of trying to trap him in a loveless marriage. No, I don't want a loveless marriage, I want an opportunity to rebuild the trust and the love. I know it won't be easy, I know it won't be a quick fix thing. I just want another chance. It kills me that he won't even speak to me. I know I need to get over it. I know it's my problem. I know I did the wrong. It just sucks.
I need to make a list of all the things I need to address in the email.
Obviously it would start with something like:
"Dear Husband:
I wish I could say these things to you face to face. I want you to know how sorry I am for hurting you, breaking the trust, betraying your love and I want you to know that I would do anything at all for to get another chance. I would do anything for a chance to rebuild the trust and prove myself to you.
I know you said I was trying to trap you in a loveless marriage when I asked you previously to go to marriage counseling with me. I know it's hard to believe, and I know I did horrible things, but I really do love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I'm not looking for forgiveness now, just another chance. I know that if forgiveness ever comes, it won't come in days or weeks or months like I'd like it to.
I hope you will take this seriously and let me know if you ever change your mind. I couldn't just let you divorce me and never tell you how I feel and ask for another chance.
SoA, you are still thinking only from your pain and hurt. Try to put yourself for a moment in his pain and hurt. Can you see how a letter like this would just piss you off? It's very self-serving. It's all I..I...I...I. Do not send anything like it.
I'm not going to tell you not to write at all(this time) because he opened the door to you just a crack. You just need to be very careful not to get it slammed back in your face.
Try something like this: I know that I caused you unbearable pain and for that I am deeply sorry. I do not say this to help myself but only for you to hear it. It's impossible to know if we can make a way through all this hurt and pain to find a new path together. All I do know is that I would like the chance to try. Given time, I only hope that you might take that chance too.
SoA, you are still thinking only from your pain and hurt. Try to put yourself for a moment in his pain and hurt. Can you see how a letter like this would just piss you off? It's very self-serving. It's all I..I...I...I. Do not send anything like it.
I'm not going to tell you not to write at all(this time) because he opened the door to you just a crack. You just need to be very careful not to get it slammed back in your face.
Try something like this: I know that I caused you unbearable pain and for that I am deeply sorry. I do not say this to help myself but only for you to hear it. It's impossible to know if we can make a way through all this hurt and pain to find a new path together. All I do know is that I would like the chance to try. Given time, I only hope that you might take that chance too.
Sorry, for my selfish thinking. I do like what you said in bold though.
Enough with the Sorry's to us. We know already. Quit beating yourself up. You really have to change your self-talk or you're not going to make any progress.
Here's another twist: For all the hurt and pain I caused you in our marriage, I take complete ownership and responsibility of my actions. I am working very hard every day with prayer and counseling to ensure that I am a changed person. I never want to go back, only forward. I can only hope that in time you might open your heart to new possibilities. I am deeply sorry.
