Picked the kids up last night, and she came out again with the kids bags and put them in the car, this is a first, we talked a little, she was looking me up and down, as much as she could I was sitting down, it was all polite and nice, kids are great, If there is one thing that I can take as a massive positive from this break is that I have become a much better father, and they have responded by showing me love in ways they have never before, my daughter tells me she loves me and misses me all the time, before we just argued, she is only 8!!!
My wife had just finished work but looked great, when I got home, I thought about if she was a male friend of mine, what would I say, and to be honest, I would probably tell a friend if they looked good, this is also something she has said in the past that I never gave her any compliments, so I sent her a text saying she looked great tonight, I know it can be seen as pursuing, but its something I would do to a male friend, if it is pursing well I did something wrong, but I feel good about doing it and hopefully she will.
She never responded, so I don't know how she feels about it, but I was honest and it was a big 180 for me.
I'm ok with her not responding, i didn't do it get a response, it was how she looked?
Another issue is it's our anniversary later this month, how should i play it? Do i ask her out, buy her a present, i just don't know what to do? Cannot believe 2 years ago we renewed our vows on a beach in mexico!!!
Keep on doing what works. How did she respond to gifts before? Is she responsive? Open to convo? If not then it's pursuing. Does she like "the dance" or not? If not then drop it for now.
It's simple. Stop doing what doesnt work and start trying out new things that might.
As we have been "getting on" fine the last few weeks, I sent her a text asking did she want to go out for a drink next week, didn't mention the anniversary, but she will know why, she hasn't responded.
I picked the kids up last night, she came out again with the their bags, and then start to moan about them messing on, how I need to get more organised for them??
I aske her what had I done wrong?, I pick them up, I haven't been in her new house, as she asked, and they are fine??
She said I had done nothing wrong, I think she was just venting?, I said I don't need to listen to her moaning anymore, said bye and left with the kids.
They were great all night, we laughed and they told me they loved me all night and how they missed me?
I sent my wife a text saying, that I know its hard with them, but this is the reality of splitting up, and I didn't want to argue any more and it wasn't fair on the kids, no answer again?
I really think reality is sinking in, this isn't the dream she thought it would be, I see the kids every day, they mess about, they are kids, but before I would start shouting, I keep my cool, and they are fine, obviously its all getting to her, I feel sorry for her, but this is reality now and she has to get on with it.
I read on here somewhere that anger is sometimes due to confusion, maybe she is confused, she has been left for over a month, maybe she is regretting it, or wants to come back, but she is too proud to say so, she also has her mother, who will have pushed this move, and she doesn't want to be seen to comeback to me, but the kids are happy with me and they have told me they want to come home?, are they telling her the same??
She has never showed any anger like this until last night, so I think something is happened to her thoughts??
I don't think your wife knows what or how to respond to what you are saying. she probably has guilt for what is going on and admitting anything would mean she is/was wrong.
your kids will always want mom/dad together. my d18 still does to this day. i can remember even being 26 wanting my mother/father back together, even my sister did as well and we had children of our own.
now my d3 asks just about everyday if daddy can move back in, she wants it, i want it(with changes of course and work) but he does not.
i think you are doing well in not listening to her gripe and letting her struggle on her own with the kids in that sense. or you could just listen not say a word and then when she expects a response just go oh. or hmm and walk away.
i think she expects you to mend it all put it back together all while the destruction of your family is going on.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
