Well I did it. We "talked" last night I told her some of they things you all have been advising. I said I couldn't respect myself living like roommates while she carries on the EA. I emphasized that the EA constitutes an open marriage, and I will not live in an open marriage. I said she needs to sever all contact and no trip to see OM. She said that's not going to happen. Than I suggested she move out. She seemed panicked at first but "reasoned" she needed time. She said "I have nothing, I've got to have time". I said take all the time you need. She's also panicked that I'll tell the kids and make her out to be the "Bad guy". I backed off a little and said when the time comes we'll just tell them we can't live together anymore. Which is going to puzzle them because we're not the "fighting spouses"; we've been "roommates" for a couple of year failing to communicate our needs and obviously not having them met. Remember, they really do adore, and it pains me to deprive them of her. She pressed on the time issue, clearly unintending to divert from her "escape" plan. So I said I maybe could handle it a year or two, and she suggested until D16 graduates. I might have wavered (read screwed up) there with a mixed message. I'm going to have to make no uncertain terms regarding open marriage till D16 graduates. I wonder what my coache will say about all this. Session this afternoon. What do you guys think? Need support, I'm feeling like I just slit my wrists.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
