Need insight

[angel61]

Yes, coach probably has seen a lot of sitch like ours. I am interested in finding how it goes in the next few days. I will tell you - when I started following DB techniques it did make life easier.
Maybe you can ask her to postpone seeing her OM for a bit .... might give her time to think, and maybe let her emotions stabilize a bit. Let her know you can't handle it right now and need to be prepared. Ask her not to be impulsive, for the sake of the kids. She is a mom, she will always think of her kids.
I used to ask my H to allow me my pain, and to help me with it, for the sake of the D and to allow me to be functional. I pointed out that he turned my world upside down so the least he could do was help me handle the situation.
It wasn't aimed at making him guilty, just that we had always worked together on past problems, and now that the problem was him, it still was our problem as a couple, and surprisingly, he did help me, and did not turn away.
Another thing I do right now is to compartmentalize my life, and when are together, I would pretend nothing was wrong so would interact with him the same way as usual. Until now, it boggles his mind that I am not screaming or angry, as that is what he expected - me to get mad at him. At that time I started being like that, I hadn't read the book, but I had the intuition that being mad would not help the cause.
Right now I feel stronger, and am more functional. And I am fairly sure it did not go PA.