Antlers, I'm so sorry. I can relate to getting emotionally stomped on and then rolled financially. It makes me upset at your XW just reading this. What a cruel, heartless...person. If you don't have to be physically present in court tomorrow then don't go. It's over now and this is the last bit of pain she can put you through. You've made it out alive...perhaps not all great but you still have the most important things; your health, your son, your job and future prospects in life and hopefully your daughters will sooner realize that you're a man of integrity who will live up to his duties and responsibilities no matter how tough the road has been.
Now that you know where you stand (and I know it sucks to have to pay so much) things can only get better from here on out.
Hang in there!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again