This is my first post - I'm new to this game and to this world. My sitch - W announced she was moving to guest room on March 1st, wanted to separate. I was devastated, listened to her pain, did not fight back, recognized I had not been the husband she needed, re-committed myself to her and our two girls and gave her space. After 6 weeks, we reconciled and she came back to the bed and we had a couple great months in sort of a 'new honeymoon' phase. Late summer, however, she withdrew again. This time said she needed to separate and when I told her I would not leave my house, my kids, my dog, everything I loved and had worked for, she decided to move out. Left us Oct 9 for an apt 2 miles away. EVERYONE who knows and loves us is flabbergasted, hurt, bewildered, confused. From what I have gleened from this site and other sources, she is a classic WAW in a full-blown MLC. She has even admitted it, said she suspects doing this could be a big mistake, does not appear happy, but conflicted, guilty, pained, and confused.
BUT, she's gone and while she is around a lot to be with our younger daughter (the older one is furious and will not go near her), I am hurting beyond belief . . . it is more than a nightmare. It's only been one month and I know my cue is to be patient, accepting, and forgiving, it is killing me to do so. She is wrecking my family, creating a financial mess at the worst possible time (older daughter starts college next year), and hurting some many people I've lost count. Friends and family who've loved her like a sister cannot fathom her actions or (lack of) feelings.
It is, as glamgirl said, so sad and unfair. Don't know what I'm asking for at this point . . . . just wanted to enter the forum and try to gain some hope and wisdom from this very learned, deeply experienced community. I've read the DR and recognize that this is all about her and I need to focus on the things I can control, taking care of my kids and making myself the best person possible. But God it's hard. I love and miss her so.
Best to all who are in similar situations. I am praying for you and ask you do the same for us.
Me 55 H 50 D 12 D 17 M 21 T 24 W moved out 10/09/10
