Always and Forever??????

[irishblessings]

Thanks Punkin - I do need to reach out to someone who S can turn to - he has responded well to counselor - but I think it is a male he needs.

Lots of self reflection this weekend. Trying to be kinder to myself. Went to pilates and have stayed fairly quiet today. Some moments of tears. Unfortunately I have had visions of H dancing close and looking lovingly into the eyes of whatever new woman he determines is the "one" for him. But then I let it go -

I recently read "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." I still spend too much time worrying about the life I thought we had planned - the one when we were together. So that life is gone - what does my new life look like?

I am healthy, balanced, centered.
I have regular contact with my kids, family and friends.
I reach out and do kind things for others.
I smile.
I sleep.
I laugh.
I cook, I bake.
I craft.
I pray.
I am grateful.

I want to learn from this experience. I want to learn to forgive myself. I want to learn to forgive H. I want to get back to the place where I don't know about the seedy side of life. I want to believe in goodness and not be a fool to first believe rather than doubt.

I pray this is the life that waits...