Irish, I haven't been here since the end of October. I am sorry that you are going through this. You are definitely in my prayers. The one thing that I realized is that this is not in my control. I can change my behavior until it becomes a habit and part of my nature but the rest of it requires supernatural intervention.
I am still grieving two years after the divorce was final and for four years since I received the ILYBNILWY speech. The thing is that while most would think I am foolish for waiting, I am trusting higher powers rather than the world.
In my sitch, while I can't say I have had a lot of positives since all this started, I have to say that recently my "wife" called me and asked me for my opinion on something that pertained to her. I was stunned because she stopped valuing my opinion some time right before she left. I consider that as something fantastic and not to be dismissed casually. I consider it a gift from God and I am glad I remembered to thank Him for it.
Hang in there. Is your husband (and marriage) worth waiting for God to perform a miracle in your life?
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
"Marriage irretrievably broken" Thats what my papers said, too. Impossible? Irretrievable? No hope? With the Lord above, I like those odds. I stand, unyielding to this world. I love my wife more than life itself. And I love life and all its blessings. God never said things will be easy. In fact, He says just the opposite. If this world is giving you troubles, you must remember it gave Him troubles, too. It denied Him and hated Him while He walked it. But to stand for what Faith and the Lord have told you; that's something to be proud of. But I'm not going to boast of myself. WHEN my marriage is made new again, I shall point to my family and call out, "LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR ME!" Because I know, all I did was screw it up. Until the day I put it in His hands. Sorry, just had to say it. And if I didn't, I fear the very stones might cry out. (One of my favorite scriptures :-)
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Roy, Last week I received papers that claimed the same reason = "irretrievably broken". Very hard to see. Have spent a lot of time reflecting the last two weeks - found this piece helpful about standing:
A covenant is an agreement with God. If you don't believe in God or a Higher Power, then the concept isn't one you will choose to use. That's fine. Not everyone will agree with all reasons or definitions used to describe Standing. A promise or vow that is between two people without including God is breakable. I believe a covenant is God's creation. It does not mean that you will not divorce. It is a difficult concept to explain because I am ever-exploring what it means; a description that rings true for me is that it is a connection that is beyond mortal life or existence.
I hope you find peace.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
:)I'm at peace. Still want my marriage. And the Lord will deliver it to me. My faith is unshakable. Wouldn't have made it this far without Him. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Not to give up, but to stand. Not doing nothing. I'm bettering myself, but I can't change her or her mind. So, I've given her over to the Lord. For Him to do His will. Me, I pray and trust in the Lord. He is the only answer to "impossible." May the Lord bless you all.
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Last night my faith was shaken.Then this happened. I got in the truck to head home from work and I had to stop for gas (I usually fill up before work). Then i visited with a friend of mine that works there. When I got back in my truck there was a man on the radio speaking about letting God do His work. He doesn't need or sometimes even want your help. The man actually spoke of straightening out a shattered marriage. I have often thought in my head but rarely said or typed a statement for when my marriage is fixed: Marriage, shattered and scattered by man, put together and made new by Gods hands. As if that wasn't enough, it then played my anthem for my marriage, That's What Faith Can Do by Kutless. And all this happened at a time wen I would have been at the house already. Except I was late leaving for work, because I was spending time with my family at my wife's invitation. My faith is renewed. For fear that if I don't admit to feeling it, the Lord may stamp it on a sledgehammer and whack me with it!
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
Roy - I gather from what little I have read that God has given you some specific promises. I hope that you take what God gave you yesterday as a sign from Him of comfort and that He will restore your marriage. You did write it down as a Godincidence...didn't you?
Irish - I'm sorry that you got served the divorce papers. I was served divorce papers in my first marriage. It was devastating...especially when it's not what you want. In several states you don't have to sign them. BUT do what God is telling you to do.
"God helps those who help themselves." You've heard it a thousand times...Did anybody tell you...That, that statement isn't anywhere in the bible and is contrary to biblical ideals. God wants us to lean on Him for our needs and desires. "Pray without ceasing." That is in the Bible. And it's my plan. I tried it my way. I tried to fix it myself and myself with God's help. Now I'm just leaving it at His feet. And praying and trusting that His will is to remake my marriage into the one He intended. BTW, No, it's not that easy. I have to keep from becoming bitter. I have to provide for my family, even though, I'm not there. But God, has a plan for me. And I know what part of it is. He won't tell me all of it. If He did, it wouldn't be Faith, it would be understanding."Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
M-34 W-31 2 S,11&11 1 D, 6 T 13 YEARS M 12 YEARS ILYBINILWY OCT. 2009 We are too close. All we see are smears of paint. The Lord sees the masterpiece He is painting.
