Wife's EA/PA how to handle changing situation

[Grocerykartman]

I wouldn't text her anything like that. That will make it sound to her like you are always available. She needs to feel as if there is some risk with going to a vacation house for "space." There's no risk if you are always going to respond to her. If she wants to talk, she can talk to you face to face and inititate it, rather than hide behind time away at a vacation home.

Is this your shared vacation home? If so, maybe this will change your thinking a bit....why is SHE the one to go to this home again for space, especially when she had the A? Why aren't YOU going there instead and leaving her to stay at home with kids and wonder what YOU'RE doing?

I see why you're confused about talking enough or not talking enough. But, she wanted you to talk more when her mind and heart were 100% into the marriage. Now they're not, so it is likely that she thinks it is too late, or, maybe more accurately, it will come off as you only want to talk now because you are afraid of losing her, not because you actually want to talk. So ask yourself, do I actually want to TALK to her, like a friend, about subjects that are happy/fun/interesting to discuss, or do you want to talk about the R, which she is trying to get away from by leaving for the week? See the difference here? Talking to her about the marriage is intuitive, but I think that's the last thing she wants you to do if she is admittedly leaving for space.

Finally, and again, not to make you overly paranoid, but 5 hours is not really that far away. Would you have driven 5 hours for her back when you were courting her without batting an eye?